Do any of you remember this piece of shit that made the rounds a few years ago, being haled as both the worst and best thing anyone ever had to say to a fat person about fitness?
Yeah, I was pretty blissful about having forgotten it and all its condescending nonsense. And then an acquaintance sent it to me on Facebook messenger after I posted a gym pic because honestly I’m a little vain and my shoulders are looking pretty beefy these days, and you know, HELLO LADIES. She sent that image with the note: made me think of you.
Uh, what? I asked, because maybe she meant, I thought about how you’re fat, and you probably hate this shit. Nope. That is not what she meant. She typed back I just think when I see you post about the gym that it must be hard for you sometimes.
Trigger warning: Multiple Eye Roll GIFS
If you know me at all, you know that when I asked her why exactly she thinks going to the gym must be so hard for me sometimes, that is was a fucking trap. Because I have been going to the gym mostly regularly for five years. Five years I’ve been lifting, walking, running*, doing HIIT, what the fuck ever, for three to five days a week. (Do I have the occasional month where I give up on life and devote myself to donuts? Well, I say to thee, who among us has never chosen the pleasures of the flesh over longterm health gains?) My acquaintance, who we are now going to call Tiffmanda, knows this because she has also said things like Wow it’s amazing that you’ve stick with this lifting thing for so long! I’d be afraid to bulk up!
Her response to my trap question, which I type out as What makes you think that? when I really mean Are you about to insinuate that because I’m fat I probably can barely drag my heavy, donut-laden, potato chip wearing body into the gym?
Tiffmanda isn’t entirely stupid, I think she could tell that my reaction was not one of OMG THANK YOU FOR HAVING MY BACK, THIN FRIEND, LIFE IS SO HARD OUT HERE FOR THE FATSOS AND THANK YOU FOR SEEING IT. Tiffmanda asks Have I offended you? I didn’t mean to say anything stupid. I just think people are really shitty about bigger folks going to the gym and I felt like this was someone being super supportive.
I limited my response to I feel like it’s pretty condescending, to be honest. Tiffmanda didn’t respond, so I did what I do, and continued to explain through the uncomfortably long silence (thirty seconds, at least) and then she unfriended me. I’m not all that enraged with Tiffmanda as an individual. But man do I loathe that To the fatty post so much. What a garbage bin full of garbage. What a bag of flaming poo. Why is it still alive, making rounds?
First, that dude didn’t write that post for the girl in question, he wrote it for himself. Second, he doesn’t use fatty as a descriptor, he uses it as a judgement call, and then proceeds to backhanded compliment/shame whoever that women was through the whole not-brief-enough thing. Are there other fat people out there who didn’t find it to be vacuous, ridiculous bullshit? This response is already perfect, so I’m not really going to belabor the point much longer. I just wanted to give one more hearty go fuck yourself to the guy who wrote this shit. And Tiffmanda, if you’re reading, I’m still down to vaguely know you through social media, but could we finish this convo real quick?
Quick note: Please don’t respond with things like OMG YOU’RE NOT EVEN FAT, because I don’t think being fat is an insult, and I am fat, and seriously, just don’t.